North Central Massachusetts Portrait Photographer | Personal

For some people, soul searching is relative. These past few weeks I have been doing a lot of soul searching. Yes, I always soul search, but this time I am trying to look at it from a different perspective. Like a bird flying over looking down at a silent city I have seen my life through the eyes of someone full of fears and anxieties. I lack patience, can't seem to forget those darned regrets, and get bored with the present. I decided that I needed to do something about this life of mine. I want to live right where I am and develop what I have. I want to exercise my mind and grow in ways that I used to be afraid to take.

God answered a prayer for me last week. I have been really wanting to take my photography to another level. I want my photographs to elude wonder and make you feel deeply. I want who I am to come through differently and passionately. I knew that my work felt cookie-cutter and maybe it was just the negativity inside keeping me from seeing how beautiful my views could be. But it was deeper than that. I knew my photographs were rushed. I had no idea what I was snapping away at and just depending on chance was getting things done. Just that getting it all done. Like homework in grade school. BORING. 

Ok so the part where God answered my prayer. I could not find a book for the longest time that was geared toward my level of experience. I know I am not the BEST, but I didn't want a beginner book. I wanted something that would tell me that I am not a strong artist. I wanted something that would train my creative eye and allow me to see what an artist sees. All I was finding were books explaining aperture or that shade is AWESOME. I wanted to be CHALLENGED. So.... one random day I randomly went to Barnes & Nobles and saw this book called Visual Poetry. Looked interesting so I picked it up. Inside the pictures were cool and I liked the layout. After browsing further I discovered that it was all about composition. I saw the price and was like "heck no". 

The story does not end there. I decided to check it out on Amazon and found it for a reasonable price through the Kindle app. Cha-ching! I started reading the intro.... WOW! Not only was this a book about improving your composition and seeing new perspectives, it was actually a workshop in a BOOK! The author is a professor at a photography school and he goes through all sorts of ideas and views about what an artist is about. I couldn't have been more inspired. I couldn't have been more excited either! I felt the roller coaster, thinking, "I am an artist" and "man I really have no idea what an artist is". 

I also felt God speaking to me through that book. Not in a creepy way, but the whole thing just showed me that being an artist is quite general and when we take the time to expand our minds in the realm of creativity we can really experience what God has designed us for. I could somehow understand His character through it also. It showed me that I could show others who He is through my talent and person. What I see in life can portray His character, but the only way that it can do that is if I become more like Him. 

I have always thought that photographs portrayed the soul of a photographer. Just like looking into someone eyes and understanding a little bit about them. I could sense that who I was was dying inside. I was becoming complacent and tired. That kind of tired that wants nothing to do with pain, sorrow, and risks. What I have discovered is that God has given me the strength to step outside of my anxieties and is giving me a step-by-step program toward freedom. Ahhhh, to sigh with relief. And just like that God placed a solution in my hands right after I purchased my latest camera. Honestly this camera, before I even bought the book, has given me more freedom and produced the results that I have been looking for. Yes, I know that equipment does not make a photographer. I have taken what I think are awesome pictures with a point-and-shoot before. What this has given me is a different experience.

For a long time having a technically advanced and expensive camera actually dragged me down creatively. I felt like the pictures had to be AWESOME at every click. For some reason this time I come at this new camera like its JUST a tool. I worry more about having my depth of field where I want it and that my exposures are good. The camera is just a metal box waiting to unleash my ideas. So take it from me, if anything a "big" camera will only keep you from awesome pictures if that is all you are thinking about. No matter your perspective.

I took these photographs this past weekend, after just having started reading my new book. Just relaxing can make things better. I followed Comfrey around and tried perspectives that before I would have said were "not good". Take a chance. Live. Love. Understand. It is my wish for you.