Thursday, January 14, 2010

Human :: Just Like Out Of Control

Today I want to write a post without pictures. Though pictures have brought me great pleasure in the past, they are not what gives me that awesome feeling deep inside of my gut. They are only the expression of a deeper love. A love for life, humanity, and my God. I have walked into the face of pain as though it was the last crutch for standing strong. Building up tragic walls and invisible shields around my own spiritual and emotional self has almost destroyed me. I am 85% there. That other 15% is my pass into freedom. I tossed it in like a birthright for some bitter soup. I want to unfold my heart to the possibility for expressing something that really does exist. Some have not tasted its power, some have only craved its presence. But here I am. I am the one that dwelt in living freely and then tossed it to the wind... all for some love that really was not for me. All for some built up ball of emotion fed by selfish desire. You have to reach a point in your life where you have to be vulnerable. It exposes you and makes you feel like you are completely out of control, but were you ever in control? All the control you ever have is for death. To slowly die out of passion and surrender. I am not here to write you an explosion of dramatic emotion. I have no ability for that anymore. This is a warning... a rescue... and a beginning. Read it how you want to, but I will still say how human I want to be. I want to be so completely out of control that I need a God to help me out. I want to take mistakes like they are lessons, not jabs in the back.

Step into the sun and you shall see the light of the one who loves you. There you will find that the whole world waits to mock you, but they cannot. There you will find that opinions flare and troubles come, but they will not deter you from your love. Here in the sunshine on the top of the hill you will be seen but not shaken. You will embrace passion and peace. Step into beginning where you left off. This is it... be alive.

As for photography, it is a love that I have not wanted to let go. Though my feelings toward it are little, I know that it brings me to realization... to peace... to beauty... and lets me sit where I belong.

1 comment:

  1. KRYSTAL, to be truely free one must spread their wings like an eagal in flight. Learn to sour with the other eagals above the tree tops galor. Take in all the sights and smells and sounds through out your travel and don't be afraid to make a mistake. For that is the beginning of success. earn from your mistakes and you cannot fail what ever you do. Just hang on to your belief in the creator and redeemer of this world, because it will be His time real soon to call you to a higher platform to really stretch out your wings. Keup your writing this blog and don't give up nomatter how few people may see it. In time it will grow.